Out of Place

Depression is trying to grab hold of me again today, so I'm fighting it... with all the energy that hasn't already been sucked into depression. So... mostly I'm sitting here resisting curling up in front of the TV. Hooah! I had a pretty busy week for a summer week when I'm not working, and I … Continue reading Out of Place

Being Normal

  My life has been a long and strange pursuit of "seeming normal."  I think I've gotten good at it at this point.  But it took a long time to learn to hide it this well. I had a psychotic break when I was 16, but I had (undiagnosed) early onset bipolar...symptoms showing shortly after … Continue reading Being Normal


Sir and I played today.  It was an impromptu thing and ended up spreading across three rooms and a hallway before we ended up in bed (we don't have sex, I mean literally ended up in bed - cuddling and aftercare).  It was a kind of a wild, totally unplanned series of events, and Sir … Continue reading Awakening

Ordinary Evening

So, two nights ago I wrote a technical manual about my relationship and the ways in which it is probably wildly different from the majority of people in relationships.  And I'll write more about those specific differences in more detail in future posts.  But, tonight, I was thinking that despite the underlying framework of our … Continue reading Ordinary Evening

A Shadow Life

So...  I talk about it often but never do it.  I probably should try NOT talking about it and ACTUALLY doing it... but... baby steps. I'm going to try to write more.  Like...  Every day.  For a year.  I don't know why I decided to do this.  It did lead to an interesting conversation with … Continue reading A Shadow Life


I had a rough day yesterday.  I made some poor choices about caring for myself and my body.  Last night I was punished for those choices.  This morning I was... not punished really, because it wasn't for something I did wrong, but... I was punished.  Because I can't use better words than that because I … Continue reading Perspectives