Decisions

I haven't been sleeping well.  For a while.  Probably why I got sick... and now... mania... It's been coming on for a couple days now that I look back at it.  And the drugs for the asthma... trigger me... and not sleeping... and beginning work... and so much... stimulation. Today I had to work on … Continue reading Decisions

Secrets

I slept better last night.  A little.  Weird dreams, but I managed to sleep until 10, so... little better. Sir and sub brother have been home (they went away on their own trip) for a couple days now.  But something has been bothering Sir.  He hasn't said that, I just know. The thing is, he … Continue reading Secrets

Slider

I had a rough patch for a few days.  Therapy went hard and I went into a spiral and for some reason (I'm sure therapy could explain it) I became almost intolerably self-critical for several days. And I know it's easy for people to scold or dismiss my self-criticism.  It's easy to say, "You're too … Continue reading Slider

Being Normal

  My life has been a long and strange pursuit of "seeming normal."  I think I've gotten good at it at this point.  But it took a long time to learn to hide it this well. I had a psychotic break when I was 16, but I had (undiagnosed) early onset bipolar...symptoms showing shortly after … Continue reading Being Normal

Output

I'm having a less than easy night.  It's not terrible - certainly not by the bar set by multiple nights this summer - but not... great. I think it's depression, or at least the leading edge of a depression front. Sir thinks that possibly my feeling is akin to burnout (and potentially that's enough to … Continue reading Output