Moving Day!

Since Christmas is coming and I'm already broke, I decided to spend money I don't have to get better paid hosting (I don't want to pay for another year of WordPress.com crappiness...) I'm super responsible. I'm not sure why the guys are still with me. It's been that kind of a month.  Already. Anyway, WordPress …

Hating

I've been having a very difficult time. Medications are making some things easier, but ironically, unlocking doors to other things that my anxiety had been keep securely shut. Last week I had several... conflicts... with people.  None of them were huge.  All of them resolved easily and calmly.  Most of them weren't even my fault, …

Alone

I'm in a lot of trouble.  It seems to be that kind of season... I got punished after work today, and I'm getting punished again tonight, and I'm banned from Facebook indefinitely. And I feel incredibly lonely. I'm very stressed about being punished. And I'm very ashamed.  I'm ashamed of this aspect of my relationship …

The Little Things

So, first, I just have to say...  HOLY SHIT I almost just wrote this post on my vanilla blog!  SHIT!  I'm losing my grip, I have too many personalities!  And fuck, I hate having two personas and never being able to cross them.  Because of my article on Writing About Writing some people have responded to it …

Seen!

I have a friend I've mentioned here before.  He is a writer and runs an uber-popular professional blog about writing.  Because I am a kind of geyser and sit quietly for a long time building up pressure before having explosions of risk-taking, I have followed him and chatted with him in small ways for quite …

Keeping Writing I Hate

So... things have been happening in my other life where I don't talk about... this life (it's so much fun having multiple lives!) I may have some people poking over and reading this site and, that is a really terrifying thought. When first it struck me that I might get a bump in traffic to …

Distance

I've been reading some older posts that I don't completely remember writing... like my brain has lost it's corollary effect and no longer intrinsically recognizes the writing as my own, even though I understand on an intellectual level that it is my writing. My quite old writing, I hate no matter how much time has …

Anxiety

I'm having anxiety. Probably because I ate a bunch of eggs the last three days. I'm allergic to eggs.  Though, technically, not...  because I don't have an IgE reaction to them.  I don't have an IgA reaction, either, I don't think... at least the last test didn't show one. Despite modern science, however, my body …

Needles!

Ugh! I was diagnosed with pernicious anemia a couple of weeks ago (on top of iron-deficient anemia).  That means that my body makes antibodies to the cells that line my stomach.  The cells which produce stomach acid and intrinsic factor.  Intrinsic factor is a protein which binds to B12 (the vitamin) and allows it to …

Being of Service

There is an aspect of submission called "service."  Not all submissives are oriented to service.  Not all dominants are oriented to service.  Individual people might be more or less oriented toward service.  And it can be a person's entire orientation, or only one of several or many orientations as a submissive/dominant. Sub Brother is pretty …